Suburban Dad's Vacation Manifesto

A while back, I listed features that every new car should have. Now here’s a list of things that really frost me (and my family) during our trip.

1. Dishonest interstate signs. You know those gas/food/hotel signs that line every interstate in this country? OK, here’s the rule: If a gas station or restaurant wants to be displayed on one of those signs, it has to be no more than a mile in either direction from the exit. No more of that “3.2 miles to the right” baloney. If it can’t be seen from the end of the exit ramp, no dice. I’ve wasted too much gas trying to find these phantom stops.  

2. Indiana I-Pass problems. Indiana touts how it accepts I-Pass from Illinois and EZ-Pass, which is used in New York and West Virginia, among other states. Still, when you enter the Indiana Tollway you have to take a ticket, and when you leave the system doesn’t always recognize your transmitter. So a tollway employee takes your I-Pass and punches in the ID number on it. How very 21st century!

3. States that still allow smoking sections. I make this vow: No more vacation stops (whether for food, gas or hotel stays) in states that don’t ban smoking in restaurants. I don’t need to inhale someone else’s cigarette smoke, and I don’t need to spend my money in states that force me to do so.

4. Navigation systems that aren’t updated. My kids asked a really brilliant question: How come a 2009 car doesn’t know that a freeway built more than a year ago exists? I understand the issues with built-in systems, but we accept far too much from the makers of these systems (and there are only a couple). I think my kids are right; we should expect more when we spend upward of two grand.

5. Dirty rest stops. This goes without saying, but if you have a gas station or fast-food establishment within a mile of the interstate (see Point No. 1), you should be obligated under the Geneva Convention to have bathrooms that are, er, “touchable.”

6. Low-quality tollway oases. In some states, such as Ohio, the tollway oasis stops are lively, filled with good tenants who offer high-quality food and restrooms. In other states — namely Indiana and West Virginia, among others — serious work needs to be done. I’d argue that they need to sell gas for no more than the regional average, and offer food that’s at least as inexpensive and high-quality as what I’d find if I paid to get off the tollway.

You’ve probably put up with these and a lot more. Let me know in the comments below what bugs you when you’re traveling the highways and byways.

The Suburban Dad's Vacation blogging

Comments

[L.S.]

For #3: On the other hand, why should a smoker be forced to go out for a cigarette? You don't want to be forced into a certain situation, but at the same time want to force others to go out of their way to please you? That's not exactly very open minded, is it?

About the dishonest interstate signs (#1).

They also shouldn't be listed if they are not open 24hrs.

I pulled off one in Kentucky that said almost 20 miles to the gas station/resturaunt at a spot that was 7 miles to the next exit. Which chance do I take? I got back out on the highway after determining that the next town was less than 20 miles on the highway (I-24).

[Capeplates]

Not so many problems here in the UK but the increased use of road side signage is really starting to piss me off

[DonB]

Response to LS: I think we do have the right to "force" smokers to go out for a cigarette, because 1) cigarette smoke stinks, and makes your clothes stink, 2) it is unhealthy, 3) the smoker has the right to smoke, but he doesn't have the right to make ME smoke HIS cigarette. It's different from other things. I don't like bleached hair and nose rings, but they don't hurt me if I get close to them. Smoke does, and I have the right to avoid it in a public place. In a private place - knock yourself out! Smoke 15 packs a day, if you like. But I don't need to be a part of it. Thanks for letting me rant! And LS - it's not about being open-minded. It's about breathing clean air. I am open minded, but I really enjoy fresh air, too!

[L.S.]

@DonB: Smoking sections are (or should be) very well ventilated and separated from the rest, so any second hand smoke that eventually reaches you, although there should be none, poses no threat whatsoever. The gases from a car exhaust contain much more dangerous chemicals than that. By your logic, you should force the driver in front of you to turn off his car when waiting at a stop light.

Personally, I am a former smoker so it may be even harder for me to sit next to a smoking person that it may be to you, but I'm also a firm believer in freedom of expression and the right to have a choice.

Don't want to go off topic here. Just venting a bit :)

[B]

I hope you didn't spend your entire vacation quibbling like this.

[Suburban Dad]

No, there was more quibbling about whose feet were resting where (seriously), who had to sit in the third row, and whether or not a car in the distance was a Beetle, Mini or PT Cruiser.

[Infosaur]

I'm not a smoker, but I moved from a No-Smoking State to a Smoking State (NY/PA) and I've discovered another benefit of smoking sections: NO KIDS!

If my wife and I go out to a nice expensive dinner, sitting in the smoking section will provide me a buffer from the familly of 5 whith the screaming baby, the 4 year old thowing food and the precocious 6 year old that want's top be friends.

Nothing personal to all you familly types.

I suspect it will be some time before resturaunts begin doing something as politically incorrect as banning children from certain parts of the resturaunt.

Applebee's is particularly notorious for letting children sit in the bar area.

[Infosaur]

DonB: Air is NOT actually CLEAN. There is carbon, smoke, pollen, dust, minute trace gases, etc.

I know smoking in an enclosed area is a differrent story but where does this enforcement of "you Right to clean air" end?

If it concerns you so much, shouldn't the onus be on you to go down to the medical supply place and get your own bottle of pure oxygen? Rather than enforce YOUR views on the rest of the population that either a.) smokes, or b.) just isn't THAT damn millitant about it?

I'm getting sick of the tyrany of the minority BS these days.

[GinaCC]

Having a "no-smoking" section in a restaurant is like having a "no peeing" section in a pool. It works just about as well to contain the grossness.